A wife is someone who graces your life with laughter and sincerity. If you’re fortunate enough to have a funny wife, then you know just how special she is. A funny wife is someone who can make you laugh even when you don’t want to. She’s someone who can light up a room with her smile and her wit. If you’re looking for a good laugh, then check out these Funny Wife Quotes.
If you‘re looking for a good laugh, then check out these Funny Wife Quotes! From the sarcastic to the sweet, these quotes are sure to put a smile on your face.
Funny Wife Quotes
“We always hold hands, If I let go, she shops.” – Henry Youngman
“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.”
“I don’t know how true it is but I have heard that the lesser the wife spends money of her husband, the longer the husband lives. If you really me to live longer, don’t expect any swanky gift from me. Happy birthday to the one and only love of my life!”
“Celebrating the birthday of a wife in a magnificent and garish is indeed the dream of every husband. However, my credit card bill is still not paid and I have money to buy only a birthday cake. I hope you will manage sweetheart. Wishing a joyous birthday to the sweetest wife ever!”
Funny Wife Quotes to Husband
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…she hugged me.”
“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”- Henny Youngman
“Wife: I have changed my mind…Husband: Does the new one work???”
“My sexy wife, I am the luckiest husband alive because I got to marry the smartest, most beautiful, and elegant woman I know. Yes, I murmur these kinds of words in my dreams, sometimes. Let’s pop up some champagne on your birthday and dance till we wobble. Happy birthday, wife!”
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Funny Wife Quotes for Husband
“Nothing makes a wife more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.”
“My wife’s cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.” – Navjot Sidhu
“Dear wife, I really want to shower all the aesthetically fine things and luxuries of the world on you but you seem to be happy with little cashback and discounts on the general stores. That’s why I have changed my mind and bought discount coupons as your birthday gifts. I know you will love them. Happy birthday, wife!”
Related: Husband Wife Love Quotes
Funny Wife Quotes in English
“Hey sweetheart, I have planned something special and extraordinary for your birthday bash. Yes, we are going to travel to your favorite exotic destinations. However, for you, it will be a one-way trip because I want to live peacefully for the rest of my life, Jokes apart, happy birthday to my gorgeous wife!”
“If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.”- Sam Levenson
“Wife is cute when she is mute and husband is honey when he gives money.”
“I have heard that all you need is pure and unconditional love to keep your married life going seamlessly. In that way, I don’t really have to buy exorbitant birthday gifts for you. My love would be more than sufficient and the most valuable gift. Happy birthday to my grumpy wife!”
Funny Love Quotes for Him
“Hey, my lovely angel, you have become so old that no amount of anti-wrinkle and anti-aging creams can make you youthful. However, you can do the job of a scarecrow pretty well. Jokes apart, happy birthday to my beautiful and cute wife!”
“Tell her she’s beautiful instead of HOT she’s your wife not TEMPERATURE.”
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
“She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.” – Tommy Manville
“Happiest birthday to the only woman who scares the hell out of me. Otherwise, I am no less than Alexander the great in my own rights. May God bless you with more makeup products so that you can look a little more beautiful!”
Related: Husband and Wife Quotes
Funny Love Is Quotes
“Hey wife, I want to give you so many books on how to sharpen memory and become smart but I guess it’s too late now. A chimpanzee can learn anything faster than you. Happy birthday and God bless you with unimaginable happiness!”
“I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.”
“The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.”
“Below is a list of ways to win an argument with your wife…………………….empty not found.”
“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” – Sacha Guitry
Funny Love Quotes for Her
“If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.”- Sigmund Freud
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” – Rodney Dangerfield
“The husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!”
“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.”
“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.”
What Is the Best Quote for Wife?
There is no one perfect answer to this question, as the best quote for wife will vary depending on the couple’s individual relationship. However, some popular and meaningful quotes about wives include:
“A wife is someone who graces your life with laughter and sincerity, someone who fills your heart with happiness and your life with meaning. Thank you for being that someone, my wife.”
“The heart of a home is a mother whose love is warm and true.”
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey
How Can I Impress My Wife With Words?
There is no one answer to this question, as it depends on your wife‘s individual personality and preferences. However, some tips on how to impress your wife with words include being thoughtful and sincere, telling her how much you appreciate her, and writing her heartfelt love letters. Whatever you do, make sure your actions back up your words to show her that you really mean them.
How Do You Say Sweet Words to Your Wife?
There are many ways to say sweet words to your wife, but it ultimately depends on what will resonate with her and make her feel loved. Some wives appreciate more traditional expressions of love, while others prefer more modern displays of affection. Ultimately, the best way to say sweet words to your wife is to express your love in a way that is genuine and specific to her.
How Can I Praise My Wife Quotes?
There are many ways to praise your wife quotes. You can find them online or in books, and they can be used to help improve your relationship or to remind you why you married her in the first place. Here are some tips on how to use praise quotes to improve your relationship:
1. Use them sparingly. If you use praise quotes too frequently, they will lose their impact and your wife may become used to them.
2. Choose wisely. Not all praise quotes are created equal. Some may be more meaningful to your wife than others, so choose those that will resonate with her.
3. Use them as a starting point. Use praise quotes as a way to start a conversation about what you appreciate about your wife. This can be a great way to deepen your relationship and to get to know her even better.
Funny Wife Quotes is a great way to bring a smile to your face. These quotes can be used to help you remember the good times you have had with your wife. They can also be used to help you make new memories with your wife. These quotes can help you show your wife how much you love her.