Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

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In her standup comedy acts, Lisa Lampanelli is known for her insult comedy, where she makes fun of people in the audience. However, she has also been known to say some pretty hilarious things in her act that can apply to anyone. Here are some of the best Lisa Lampanelli quotes:

Lisa Lampanelli is a standup comedian and author known for her insult comedy. She has been featured on several television shows, including The Howard Stern Show, Chelsea Lately, and The Celebrity Apprentice. Lampanelli has also written three books: Chocolate, Please: My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Freaks; Skinny Bitch: A NoB.S. Guide to Food, Fitness, and Feeling Fabulous; and the bestselling I‘m SorryYou‘re Not a Winner.

Looking for some Lisa Lampanelli quotes? We‘ve got you covered! Lisa Lampanelli is known for her outrageous sense of humor, and these quotes show just that!

Lisa Lampanelli Quotes

”The thing is, in the dating profiles it says ‘spiritual,’ but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me.” -Lisa Lampanelli

Even going on stage is a service because it brings people up from thinking about their lost job or their lost spouse or something like that, so that even helps people when I’m doing comedy; it’s all done to make them laugh.

Lisa Lampanelli

A lot of comics just joke around, but it’s just as important to get the truth out there.

Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli Specials

Lisa Lampanelli Specials

”I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead; I don’t know.”-Lisa Lampanelli

”I don’t like any of it. I’m sick and tired of menopause.”-Lisa Lampanelli

I’m decorating my parents’ house for Christmas… I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!

Lisa Lampanelli

Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He’s Mr. T without the acting chops.

Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli Best Lines

”With Don Rickles and me, we’re just telling the truth. We’re not terrific people, and we’re not gonna win the beauty contest. We’re just average Joes. We’re just being who we are, and I think people like that.”-Lisa Lampanelli

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”I say every slur on the planet – racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet – and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society.”-Lisa Lampanelli

“Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I hear his jokes it reminds me to wipe my ass.”

Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli

“Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He’s Mr. T without the acting chops.”

Lisa Lampanelli

”Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the prize was fire.”-Lisa Lampanelli

”Andy Dick is so gay, he thinks Margaret Cho is funny.”-Lisa Lampanelli

” I always order soup, dessert, and a sandwich or whatever main course. But then the idea is you have to eat such a small portion of it and bring the rest home.”-Lisa Lampanelli

“I’m decorating my parents’ house for Christmas… I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!”

Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli Weight Loss

Lisa Lampanelli Net Worth

”When I say I’m going gangster, I’m working really hard at something.”-Lisa Lampanelli

”People with HIV and AIDS are nothing to be afraid of. They are people just like every single one of us, and each has a story to tell. These people should be helped, embraced, and not dismissed. We need to open our hearts and our minds to them, and we just may learn we’re pretty much all the same.”-Lisa Lampanelli

” I’m a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I’m lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically incorrect themes of my act. But I am continually amazed by how a certain section of our society seems to be so freakin’ sensitive about jokes.”-Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli Weight Loss

” Comedy is like music – there are genres and styles for every taste. Katy Perry is there for people who like frothy pop music. Metallica is there for people who like head-banging metal. And Susan Boyle is there for… well, I don’t who the hell is listening to that freak of nature, but that’s not the point. In art, there’s something for everybody.”Lisa Lampanelli

”I say every slur on the planet – racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet – and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society.”-Lisa Lampanelli

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”I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable – diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight.”-Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli Roast

” I’ve never wanted to be a person where somebody would be like, ‘I like her; she’s okay.’ Love or hate is fine, because it sells tickets.”-Lisa Lampanelli

” My thing has always been, I’ve never been very open and vulnerable with people, so the minute I got this dog, everything changed. It just opened me up and made me more loving… It’s all because of him… He’s made me a better person… I can tell people what I feel now. I can cry in front of people sometimes.”-Lisa Lampanelli

What Comedian Is Known as the Queen of Mean?

The comedian known as the Queen of Mean is Lisa Lampanelli. Lisa is known for her scathing wit and sharp tongue. She has been calledthe most offensive woman in comedy and is known for her insult comedy. Lisa has been a guest on many radio and television shows, and has also appeared in several films and television shows.

Lisa Lampanelli Comedy

Where Can I Watch Lisa Lampanelli?

Lisa Lampanelli is a comedian who has appeared on many TV shows. You can watch her standup specials on Netflix, YouTube, and Amazon Prime.

How Old Is Lisa Lampanelli?

Lisa Lampanelli is a standup comedian, actress, and producer who has been entertaining audiences for over two decades. She is best known for her insult comedy, which has earned her the nicknameThe Queen of Mean.”Lisa was born on July 19, 1961, in Trumbull, Connecticut. That makes her 58 years old. Lisa has been married to James Cannizzaro since 2013, and the couple has one son.

What Nationality Is Lisa Lampanelli?

Lisa Lampanelli is an American comedian and actress. She is of Italian descent.

I absolutely love Lisa Lampanelli‘s quotes! She is hilarious, and her quotes always make me laugh. If you‘re looking for a good laugh, definitely check out Lisa Lampanelli Quotes blog post!

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