51 Best Step Brothers Quotes

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In the 2008 comedy “Step Brothers”, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly play two unemployed middle-aged men who are forced to live together when their parents marry. The pair immediately clash, but eventually learn to get along by bonding over their shared love of music and outrageous pranks. Featuring a plethora of hilarious quotes, “Step Brothers” is an unforgettable film that is sure to make you laugh out loud.

In the 2008 film “Step Brothers”, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly play two middle-aged men forced to live together after their parents marry. The film is full of quotable lines, but these ten stand out the most.

Step Brothers Quotes

“I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” — Dale Doback

“I’m gonna fill a pillowcase full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!”

“I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and… I just figure it out.” — Dale Doback

Funny Step Brothers Quotes
Image: UPROXX

“Last week, I put liquid paper on a bee… and it died.”

“Gotta have my boats and hoes!” — Dale Doback

Step Brothers One-Liners

“Dad, I’m doing this because I love you. Fu*k you.”

“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” — Dale Doback

“When you fall asleep, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.”

“You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.” — Derek

“My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!”

“Did we just become best friends?” — Brennan Huff

Funny Step Brothers Quotes

“Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”

“Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan Huff

“I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.”

“You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.” — Brennan Huff

Step Brothers Quotes So Much Room for Activities

“You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother! She’s a saint!”

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“I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek

“I’m not gonna call him dad, not even if there’s a fire.”

“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fu*k one, marry one, kill one. Go!” — Dale Doback

Step Brothers Quotes Drum Set
Image: Quotes Ring

“I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nudie magazines.”

“On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.” — Dale Doback

Step Brothers Quotes Drum Set

“One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale Doback

“What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?”

“Don’t lose your dinosaur.” — Robert Doback

“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fu*k one, marry one, kill one. Go!”

“Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” — Dale Doback

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!” — Brennan Huff

Randy Step Brothers Quotes

“Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your ass.” — Brennan Huff

“Your drumset is a wh*re! I tea bagged your drumset!” — Brennan Huff

“Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” — Dale Doback

“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.”

“I’m fu*king miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” — Dale Doback

Step Brothers Quotes Best Friends

“That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”— Dale

“Dad, we’re men. That means a few things – we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pu*sy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.” — Dale Doback

“You should have never let us make bunk beds! It was a terrible idea! There’s blood everywhere! Dad, Nancy, it’s so bad. There’s blood everywhere. Those bunk beds were a terrible idea. Why’d you let us do that? It’s so bad!”

“Brennan, Denise called and she said she can’t spend New Year’s Eve with you because she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your therapist.” — Nancy

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Step Brothers Quotes Bunk Beds

“Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” — Brennan

“Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”– Dale

“Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan

“Why are you so sweaty?” — Dale “I was watching cops.” — Brennan

“I’m going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!”— Brennan

Step Brothers Quotes Dinosaur

“So many activities!”– Brennan

“This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”— Dale

“That’s so funny; the last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”

“What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” — Brennan

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“I’m fu*king miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.”

“This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”

“One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.”

“Dad, what are you going? It’s ‘Shark Week’!”

Step Brothers Quotes This House Is a Prison

“Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”

In the movie Step Brothers, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly play two grown men who are forced to live together after their parents get married. The two share a love of quoting movies, and their favorite pastime is coming up with hilarious and absurd scenarios.

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